Still Lost in Translation: Penis? Penis!

I have to say, this summer has probably been the most exciting, ludicrous summer I've ever experienced in my life. In the past 2 months I've travelled to new countries, visited new cities around Korea, went on a 4 day road trip to the East coast and covered my entire body in mud at a festival. I did all of this and still (physically) managed to make it to work monday morning.

Mudfest!

Mud wrestling at mudfest. Things got VERY messy!

Spent the weekend in Busan and started drinking/dancing with an Ajuma (old Korean drunk woman)

At the beach in Busan, the waves were so massive we werent allowed in the water

Last weekend was another one of Korea's long weekends that us foreigners don't question just smile and happily accept. My good friend Lokhee and her husband invited Adam and I on a 3 night, 4 day road trip down the east coast of Korea. I haven't had many opportunities to drive in a car with friends. The bus system in Korea is so comfortable and efficient, most people use buses as their primary mode of transportation. Nevertheless, it's always fun planning a road trip and living in a foreign country makes it more challenging to figure out directions and abide by Korean traffic regulations (or lack of).

Consequently, we realized it is nearly impossible to get a speeding ticket in Korea. You seriously have to go out of your way to get pulled over and Korean law enforcement make it pretty difficult. About every couple of miles there is a yellow sign on the side of the highway warning drivers they are approaching the next speeding camera. And if for some reason you happen to miss the luminous signal, another sign exposes itself upon arrival at the surveyed area. Drivers essentially slow down for the next minute or until their license can no longer be seen by big brother. So basically, if you ever do get a speeding ticket in Korea, you more than likely deserved it!

The trip took 7 hours to drive from Gwangju but the sights were beautiful along the way. We packed our child sized tents into the trunk of their car, along with some mekju (beer), wine and various other necessities and headed off to beach number one. We camped on 2 different beaches but managed to visit 4 altogether; each one unique and beautiful in its own way.

One common trend I've noticed about Korean beaches is that Korean people love their umbrellas, tubes and banana boats. Simply relaxing on a beach and getting some sun is not on their itineraries. However, as the sun descended, beach goers packed their things and left an empty beach for the 4 of us to enjoy.

This was only the second time I've travelled with a Korean friend around Korea and I forgot how much of a treat it is! We were able to do things incomprehensible to us foreigners who don't speak the language. Mostly simple things like ordering food, asking for directions and easily finding our way around a Korean grocery store. Lokhee even ordered us pizza and chicken to the beach when the sun was shining and we were too lazy to get off our lazy asses. Her and Anthony brought along a small grill so we were able to cook an authentic Korean dinner consisting of pork, lettuce leaves, garlic, rice and bean paste. It was delicious!

So after 3 days of sleeping on the sand and snorkeling around the east sea, we were all feeling pretty stiff. That being said, we decided it was fitting to visit an outdoor museum called Love Land or better known as Penis Park. This was probably the most bizarre park I've ever stepped foot on and I would highly recommend it for some awkward moments and a good laugh. What I found most humorous about this penis park other than the array of penises, is its blatant contradiction to Korean culture. Sex is very taboo in Asia, so for Koreans to exploit it in a family oriented environment seems pretty hilarious if you ask me. We walked by families and children who were old enough to know exactly what was going on and that's just awkward for everyone! Family outings are always a nice idea but seriously, is it really necessary to go to a penis park with your grandmother, uncle and cousin? I'm sure there are other ways to spend quality time with your family that doesn't involve dodging ceramic cocks in a park. I mean, can you even imagine what a family photo shoot would sound like?

Mother: Okay sweetheart, get infront of the large penis for a picture.
Distressed child: Which one?
Mother: The big black one one.
Distressed child: This one?
Mother: No, no the circumsized one! Hmm.. move a little to the side just under the right testicle!
Distressed child: Better?
Mother: Perfect.

We could have been a lot more daring/inappropriate with the pictures, but thought we'd keep it somewhat classy. After 3 days of perfect weather and a hilarious afternoon in a penis park, it was hard to leave. We all sat, erect in the car trying not to fall asleep after very minimal sleep. We attempted to penetrate the mystery of this penis park and fathom its obscure existence but I suppose some things are better left limp or untouched. hehe. Okay I'm done.