Penis? Penis!

I have to say, this summer has probably been the most exciting, ludicrous summer I've ever experienced in my life. In the past 2 months I've travelled to new countries, visited new cities around Korea, went on a 4 day road trip to the East coast and covered my entire body in mud at a festival. I did all of this and still (physically) managed to make it to work monday morning.

Mudfest!

Mud wrestling at mudfest. Things got VERY messy!

Spent the weekend in Busan and started drinking/dancing with an Ajuma (old Korean drunk woman)

At the beach in Busan, the waves were so massive we werent allowed in the water

Last weekend was another one of Korea's long weekends that us foreigners don't question just smile and happily accept. My good friend Lokhee and her husband invited Adam and I on a 3 night, 4 day road trip down the east coast of Korea. I haven't had many opportunities to drive in a car with friends. The bus system in Korea is so comfortable and efficient, most people use buses as their primary mode of transportation. Nevertheless, it's always fun planning a road trip and living in a foreign country makes it more challenging to figure out directions and abide by Korean traffic regulations (or lack of).

Consequently, we realized it is nearly impossible to get a speeding ticket in Korea. You seriously have to go out of your way to get pulled over and Korean law enforcement make it pretty difficult. About every couple of miles there is a yellow sign on the side of the highway warning drivers they are approaching the next speeding camera. And if for some reason you happen to miss the luminous signal, another sign exposes itself upon arrival at the surveyed area. Drivers essentially slow down for the next minute or until their license can no longer be seen by big brother. So basically, if you ever do get a speeding ticket in Korea, you more than likely deserved it!

The trip took 7 hours to drive from Gwangju but the sights were beautiful along the way. We packed our child sized tents into the trunk of their car, along with some mekju (beer), wine and various other necessities and headed off to beach number one. We camped on 2 different beaches but managed to visit 4 altogether; each one unique and beautiful in its own way.

One common trend I've noticed about Korean beaches is that Korean people love their umbrellas, tubes and banana boats. Simply relaxing on a beach and getting some sun is not on their itineraries. However, as the sun descended, beach goers packed their things and left an empty beach for the 4 of us to enjoy.

This was only the second time I've travelled with a Korean friend around Korea and I forgot how much of a treat it is! We were able to do things incomprehensible to us foreigners who don't speak the language. Mostly simple things like ordering food, asking for directions and easily finding our way around a Korean grocery store. Lokhee even ordered us pizza and chicken to the beach when the sun was shining and we were too lazy to get off our lazy asses. Her and Anthony brought along a small grill so we were able to cook an authentic Korean dinner consisting of pork, lettuce leaves, garlic, rice and bean paste. It was delicious!

So after 3 days of sleeping on the sand and snorkeling around the east sea, we were all feeling pretty stiff. That being said, we decided it was fitting to visit an outdoor museum called Love Land or better known as Penis Park. This was probably the most bizarre park I've ever stepped foot on and I would highly recommend it for some awkward moments and a good laugh. What I found most humorous about this penis park other than the array of penises, is its blatant contradiction to Korean culture. Sex is very taboo in Asia, so for Koreans to exploit it in a family oriented environment seems pretty hilarious if you ask me. We walked by families and children who were old enough to know exactly what was going on and that's just awkward for everyone! Family outings are always a nice idea but seriously, is it really necessary to go to a penis park with your grandmother, uncle and cousin? I'm sure there are other ways to spend quality time with your family that doesn't involve dodging ceramic cocks in a park. I mean, can you even imagine what a family photo shoot would sound like?

Mother: Okay sweetheart, get infront of the large penis for a picture.
Distressed child: Which one?
Mother: The big black one one.
Distressed child: This one?
Mother: No, no the circumsized one! Hmm.. move a little to the side just under the right testicle!
Distressed child: Better?
Mother: Perfect.

We could have been a lot more daring/inappropriate with the pictures, but thought we'd keep it somewhat classy. After 3 days of perfect weather and a hilarious afternoon in a penis park, it was hard to leave. We all sat, erect in the car trying not to fall asleep after very minimal sleep. We attempted to penetrate the mystery of this penis park and fathom its obscure existence but I suppose some things are better left limp or untouched. hehe. Okay I'm done.

Beginning our road trip!

They built a ship/hotel on a mountain and it became a big tourist spot

This was our view each morning!

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today" - James Deam

Write more soon!

Signing off,

Gillian Teacha

No Touting: Singapore and Malaysia

I can't believe how fast time is going by. I don't know if it has anything to do with getting older or the fact that we live a contracted life out here, but something has got to change. And I don't think I'll be getting any younger!

Last Sunday I returned back to Korea after our 9 day vacation to beautiful Singapore and Malaysia. These were 2 countries we essentially picked out of a hat but I'm so happy we did. All I ever heard about Singapore was its obscure rules and regulations. There are more things you can't do in that country than you can. Some of these laws are so ridiculous I was almost tempted to test one out just to say I got arrested for blowing a bubble! Gum just doesn't exist in Singapore. They don't chew, blow it or sell it.

After Katie and I treated ourselves to a delicious western style sub sandwich, we began devouring it on our metro ride to the airport... until we noticed the $500 fine we could be imprisoned for. The sub was good. But not THAT good!

I also found it pretty hilarious seeing signs which covered the streets that read, "no touting". Korea doesn't even have stop signs, let alone signs that order silence and discipline.

What's interesting though is that all of these laws are strictly followed by its citizens and somehow, it all works. Singapore has got to be the cleanest, most efficient and organized country I've ever been to. What I loved the most about this country is that it is so multicultural and truly caters to each ethnic group genuinely. From shopping in china town to eating dinner in little India it honestly felt like we were magically teleported to the country of origin. We embraced each culture head on and I've never eaten a more eclectic mix of foods in my life! In Korea, for example, if I feel like eating Italian I must be aware that my penne pasta is being prepared by a Korean chef (who has most likely never left the country) and will thus have a korean twist to it; perhaps a side of kimchi or pieces of sweet corn mixed in. Singapore differed greatly in that our food of choice was cooked by an authentic native chef and its taste was commendable (but came with a price).

In each small suburb we were a visual minority which made the experience almost overwhelming. Being a minority in a foreign country isn't something I'm unfamiliar with. What was out of the ordinary, however was that all these different ethnicities and cultures could bond together through their native language; English. When we first arrived to Singapore and noticed all the public transportation signs were written in English I was a little surprised but it wasn't until the subway announcements that I realized, I was again in an English speaking country.

I almost forgot how much easier day to day life is when storekeepers, taxi drivers and the general public can all communicate in the same language as you. Part of me does enjoy the challenge that living in a foreign country poses, but at least 50% of the time I'm pulling out my hair trying to order food at a restaurant or crossing my fingers the taxi driver drops me off at my desired location. All in all, a great time was had in Singapore even if tequila shots were $12 a piece!

As our wallets got lighter and the risk of breaking a law higher, we decided it was time to head next door to gorgeous Malaysia. Similar to Singapore, I hadn't heard much about Malaysia only that it was a Muslim country and that there were lots of naughty, hungry monkeys lying around. We took a six hour bus ride from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and checked into a lovely hostel right in the middle of china town. Consequently, our first dinner consisted of lemon chicken, chow mein, chinese broccoli and everything else greasy and delicious.

Our first full day in Malaysia was filled with feeding, riding and bathing elephants and visiting an old Mosque over taken by wild monkeys. There were hundreds of monkeys that ran loose amidst the temple grounds. We were warned not to bring any food or drinks with us for obvious reasons. I even removed my sunglasses due to my last experience with monkeys in Asia.

We had a fun night out in Kuala Lumpur before heading to a small village called Melaka where we would stay for 2 nights. Melaka is a historical town just outside KL made up of beautiful old temples, churches and cultural centers. The citizens want to maintain its historic ambience so there are no skyscrapers, nightclubs or even air conditioning. It was definitely a unique place to visit and I'd recommend it for those travelling to Malaysia. The majority of Malayan citizens are Muslim and are literally covered up head to toe. Going from a capital city to a small town, the religious undertones were especially apparent and temples were much more abundant. Subsequently, the 3 of us felt a little scandalous tanning in bikinis on an empty beach directly across from a Mosque.

So after offending a few religious Malayans, we agreed it was time to leave Malaysia and head back to Singapore where we would eventually be flying home from. It only hit me recently that Korea really does feel like home. Although I did enjoy the variety of food in Singapore and the unique wildlife in Malaysia, I honestly missed Koreas laid back mentality, their 24 hour spas, the hilarious drunk cab drivers and consequently their cheap soju. When we arrived back to Gwangju Sunday night, the air was just as humid, the traffic was just as chaotic and English was still nowhere to be found. It's nice to be home.

"Everyone starts off as stranger, Ted. It's where we end up that counts"- Film: Four Rooms

Write more soon.

Signing off,

Gillian Teacha xx